For someone who was (is) definite in her mind that she wanted to leave the UK for good at the end of the year and has just booked the ticket to enable that action, well I'm feeling a little bit more unsettled than I imagined I would.
I'm sure it's down to a combo of things (and these are in no particular order):
1- going "home" will actually involve going to Auusie, not NZ, as my parents have moved
2- that is strange in itself
3- I was expecting to be able to book this in about July but happened to look online and since I'm using my airpoints to get back, there were only 4 seats on one day available in the month so I realised that I pretty much had to book then and there before they all disappeared and I was left with another UK Christmas or worse, having to pay actual money for my flight. *shudder*
4- making choices like this because they are 'life choices' and not I-hate-this-place-I-want-to-leave-and-set-fire-to-it-on-my-way-out choices is always hard
And so I am feeling unsettled. I should probably be heading out for someone's birthday drinks tonight but I think that I shall instead be making a lame-ass excuse and heading home to watch some comforting chick-flick and I try to re-zen myself. I should be happy, I really should. I should be jumping for joy because I know more than anything that this big city is not the place for me. That said, after almost 3 years, it is home and I have great friends here and love my work and the people I work with. Maybe I should just go home and look at pictures of beaches, that'll refocus me. Or I could go to the pool and try out my new pro look as my goggles and swim cap arrived today. Oh yes I will be the hottest thing in the pool. *cough*
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