Sometimes when you're sick and feeling sorry for yourself, the best thing to do is not to pick yourself up and carry on but rather to wallow in it for a while, swim in it till your fingers get all pruney. That's my theory at least and it's what I really wanted to do this weekend but it just didn't happen. I'm at a disadvantage anyway because my naturally sunny disposition* makes wallowing in self-pity a bit hard. I tend to end up taking the piss out of myself and making both myself and those around laugh at my cynical oh-woe-is-me approach. I didn't know if I wanted to get a really sad movie so that I could cry so hard my eyes swelled shut and I couldn't breathe properly and I felt really sorry for myself or if I wanted to fall asleep in front of action movies. I envisaged a duvet, the sofa, the TV, a shite load of popcorn and not much else. I also needed to clean my room and go through paperwork that I've been putting aside to sort through "later" for ages. My room got a little tidier but otherwise none of my vision for the weekend was to come to pass. *sob* *sniff* Instead I was inundated in babies- which usually I would love- and in fact I did love it. I mean how can you not love babies? I think what I resented was that I ended up having a weekend full of having a nice time chatting with friends and having coffee and sitting outside at the pub in the sun talking to people and, of course, making babies laugh and it was a nice weekend. But I didn't want a nice weekend. I wanted to be holed up inside on my sofa watching all of the Star Wars (the vintage versions, not the new stuff) or all the Die Hards or something with Arnie, or something to make me snot all over everything. I wanted to wallow in sickness and self-pity so that I could start the week afresh with it all out of my system. Alas it was not to be. So now I'm still sick and feeling sorry for myself and am quite the hater right now. How lucky I can laugh at myself.
*don't laugh
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