WARNING: this may be offensive to the religious people out there

My friends over here are great ones for forwarded emails of the fluffy variety that are potentially chain letter-esque. I haven't yet gathered up the heart to tell them that I HATE this kind of crap. 10 things that make a great friend, 25 ways to bring warmth and light to someone's day. Blah blah woof woof hatehatehatehatehate. Especially as most of these supposedly altruistic emails usually end in something like, "Forward this to your 10 closest friends, including the person who sent this to you so they will know they are loved and appreciated." Or some such bullshit. It really grates on my nerves. Can you tell?

I also have some friends who are whatever degree of 'religious'. Now this is not an issue amongst us although I highly suspect they might have some issue with existentialism and I don't abuse them when one of these forwarded spam pieces of crap has religious overtones or ends in 'God Bless'. I understand the spirit in which it was sent so that's fine. But this morning I got one which nearly made me go on a rant:

CELL PHONE vs. BIBLE

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several times a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to Kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we travelled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go..hmm. Where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
Makes you stop and think "where are my priorities?"
NO REJECTED calls!
NO FLAT BATTERY!!!!
NO "pls call me's" coz He will call on you ALL THE TIME!!!!
P.S. DO WHAT YOU THINK GOD WOULD WANT YOU TO DO WITH THIS E-MAIL.

I'm sorry but WTF?!? Let's ignore my standard grammatical Nazi issues with liberal usage of block caps and exclamation marks. My instant reaction? I'll tell you exactly what God can do with this email.... But it's not God's fault that someone wrote this unbelievably stupid (and is it just me or potentially Evangelically toned message? I mean "we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill" WTF? Is anyone else laughing?) message and that someone else forwarded it on under the mistaken impression that I might appreciate it.

And if perchance the person who sent this message to me reads this (and the likelihood is VERY LOW) well I'm very sorry for not having the spine to say all this to your face. But I'm sure God will forgive me.