shenanigans and high jinx

I've decided that these pics don't really need writing about because they're really just photos taken when we were out in the evenings. If people complain I may change my mind.


This is us imitating how Cara dives. The guy in the pic is Ayman, our instructor.










This is me post-diving with some mega-boofy salty hair. I had no idea I was looking quite this sexy or I might have done something about it...

diving

Firstly, let me apologise for the shitty quality of these underwater pics. (A) We were learning to dive and had bigger things to think about than taking pretty pictures, like breathing (B) we didn't really know what we were doing and taking underwater pics is a whole new ballgame.


This is us after one of our dives, not our first one I don't think but then it hardly matters.


These are little cleaner fish that hang out at cleaning stations. It was the first time I got to see a whole mass of fish moving in the way you see schools of them do on TV. We were hoping they'd come out to clean us but obviously we didn't need it.


NEMO!


blue spotted ray


Ayman, our dive instructor, took this pic because none of us were brave enough to get close enough to take the snap. This moray was hiding in a crevasse in the coral and was huge. How big exactly I have no idea, especially as everything is magnified by about 33% underwater due to goggles. He was a big mo-fo though.


I'm pretty sure this one was taken after our final dive. Left to right, Ali, me, Becs and Clara.

Learning to dive was awesome. I'm also really glad that I did it in a group, especially the girls from work because we were all really supportive of each other and it meant you didn't mind making a dick of yourself because everyone would laugh good-naturedly and you'd know that someone else would be looking gamby with something else. Because we were just learning, we didn't really get to go to any supercool areas but that was okay because most of my attention was on my buoyancy and not knocking in to coral and just getting used to everything. I've definitely caught the bug though and am already planning how I can keep this up and when I can get back. In my mind, I'm thinking November for setting my advanced but we'll have to see how things go. Ever since finishing my course, I've had severe water withdrawal and am looking in to joining a pool near me (when I find one) which, for those who know me well enough, is a pretty big thing because I don't do public pools. Two main factors in this are, in no particular order 1- little kids pee in pools (in fact not just little kids) 2- swimming togs. I don't do togs. I don't do skintight and I don't to skimpy. Well I can't do anything about #1 but urine is sterile and it's not like I'll be bathing in concentrated pee and #2 is fixable by shedding some pies and getting over myself. ;-) I think what I love about being underwater, ignoring all the cool wildlife and the peace and calm, is that you can move so freely in all dimensions. It's made me realise how limited I can feel being stuck to the ground so I need to get back in a pool and soon so I can just get underwater and fool around.

desert

To make things easier for me, I've broken my photos down in to sections so I'll photoessay them as I go. Oddly enough, first up are my desert pics- odd because it was the last thing I did.


After we finished our Open Water Course, we decided to take a trip in to the desert. What we ended up with was a morning trip in to the hills with quad bikes. On the whole, it was a pretty tame trip which I guess it had to be because none of us were experts and there were safety things to take in to account. Not that that mattered too much to me when all I wanted to do was go fasterfasterfaster....


This is a view of the desert looking back towards Naama Bay (where we stayed). Flying in to Sharm, I thought the desert was going to be a lot flatter and sandier than it was. I was thinking like-a-pancake-flat but it was more undulating and had lots of rocks and rubble and felt like a bit of a construction site.


This is looking back down on the little "Bedouin" place where we stopped half way through the ride. We also drove past quite a few similar structures and it was a bit of a shock for me. I didn't have anyone to ask and I'm reasonably interested to find out if these people live there through choice and lifestlye or if part of it is poverty because there were some places that were absolute shacks with rubbish strewn everywhere. I wanted to find someone and say, "Keep your desert clean! Don't you care what it looks like?"


This is us at the top of the teeny tiny hill we climbed up to get the view. From left to right: me, Ali, Becs and Clara.


I'm sure I don't really need 2 group shots but I'll put it in anyway. This one is me left, Clara in front and Ali behind right.


We saw a camel! Next time I'm out there, I think I'll try to get a ride on one. When we stopped to photograph this one, it started moving its jaws in a manner that made me a bit anxious about spit-potential but even if it was thinking about it, it kept it to itself.


This is me all kitted up on my bike looking like a terrorist. You have to buy a headscarf (total rip-off) to wrap around you to keep dust out. Don't be fooled in to thinking you can do without it. I had dust on my bra when I came away from that place. Now that's dusty.


And finally, cool rock formations along the way.

I'm definitely going back to Egypt. I want more diving and I want more desert. Next time I'm back, I'd like to do an overnight trip which I imagine would be supercool because even as we invading the place with our vroomvroom bikes, it still felt so amazing calm. And maybe that's part of the appeal of Egypt for me- you have desert calm and underwater calm which are both totally different and yet so similar and they're right beside each other, never mind the contrast of all that water right beside a desert.

whimsy

She had me worried for a second there
Coming back from a week away, there are a lot of blog entries to catch up on and so far I've only managed to skim about half of my regulars. I nearly had a heart attack though when I skimmed Autumn Zebra and came across an entry entitled why I heart Vista. My immediate reaction: WTF?!!!!?!!???? My slightly more delayed reactions: 1- let this be irony 2- if its not, remember you love her anyway and she's a PC user so really, maybe she just doesn't know any better 3- noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 4- maybe I should actually read what it says... which I only finally got around to doing this morning and thank God, all is well in the world, I will not have to disown a friend, it was irony. Vista is shit. Surprise surprise- and at this point I will totally freely admit that I'm a Mac user and one that has a knee-jerk muderdeathkill* response to all things PC. Have I used Vista? Nope. (Do I want to? Over my dead body.) Have I researched it at all and read extensive customer reviews? Nope. So am I pretty much dissing it from a point of ignorance? You betcha. But do I care? Not so much. So what's the point in what I've just written? Well mainly it's to say, "Marie, don't ever do that to me again, no ironical pro-microsoft titles in your blogs, I'm not made of strong enough stuff." ;-)

snip snap
All my hair is gone. Well for me it's all gone- this is definitely the shortest I've ever had it. It's above my shoulders and I can hardly tie it back. The weird thing is, I'm really happy with it and it isn't quite what I was expecting. It would seem that I caught myself in one of my oh-what-the-heck moods. I knew I wanted a change- well I thought I wanted a change but was totally prepared to hear myself asking the hairdresser to just tidy it up a bit. Instead, I heard myself telling him to have at it and I wanted a change. Hmmm.... Usually I've never totally happy with my haircuts but ignoring that, I love going to the hairdresser.
I love watching hair getting cut- the shaping it out of nothing kind of thing but nobody has ever been as fun to watch as the guy who cut my hair yesterday. He is without a doubt the most energetic hairdresser I've ever seen. He stood behind me and kind of bobbed and danced around and his enthusiastically hacked off my hair, I felt like I'd had a workout just watching him. Eventually I had to ask if he stabbed himself a lot with the scissors when he was learning and he said that he still does from time to time and I find that very easy to believe. He said that to get proper texture in to hair, the movement of the scissors is the most important thing in which case I must have some of the most energetic and lively texture out there. I made Sarah take some photos of it last night and although they don't really it justice (please ignore Sean in the background), I thought some photos were better than none. Also I didn't fluff it properly at the back so it looks uneven but it isn't really. Obviously. So yesterday I was trendily salon-styled Aynia but this morning I got to wake up to just-slept-on-it, low maintenance Aynia and now I remember what my hair does when it's short. In true Gemini fashion, it can't make up its mind so the left side likes to be all funky and flick out and the right side likes to be all conformist and curl in. I spent about 5 minutes running a wet hairbrush through it and trying to coax both sides to do the same thing, no matter what that might be and then gave up because it doesn't really bother me that much. So I have insane hair- so what?


*and if you don't know what movie that's from, shame on you

this one goes out to my sister

And maybe to Philip, my wannabe rap friends. xox 'nuff said

so rude

Everyone knows that when you come back to work after a nice relaxing holiday, you're gonna have to deal with Reality at some point. Now I'm the kind of girl who prefers my reality to sidle up to me in a bashful manner and hang around behind me scuffing it's feet as it coughs politely to try and get my attention and when that fails, it might, just might pluck up the courage to tap me gently on the shoulder as it cleared its throat. That's how I prefer my reality but it sure as heck ain't how I get it. My reality gives me half an hour (the half hour that I was in the office before anyone else) and then charges at me full tilt, swinging its baseball bat with malicious intent. But I refuse to let it win, I'm nothing if not stubborn, so I just don my kevlar vest, put on my iPod, then my crash helmet, and settle in.

Before I start in on Egypt I have to share a quote from Mimi Smartypant's blog because it was one of the first things I read when I got back and I laughed out loud. Loudly.

11. The other day a group of teenagers from the not-so-nice high school on my bus route boarded the bus and began some typical stupidity---throwing stuff, fake-wrestling, etc. Normally I don't care, but after one of them almost crash-landed in my lap for the second time I pulled out the headphones and tugged on the sleeve of the closest perpetrator, saying, "Hey. Please cut it out."

Maybe I delude myself in thinking that I look like enough of a mom/old lady/respectable citizen that they would be a tiny bit chastised and comply. Because I was honestly surprised when I the kid told me to fuck off. It may sound otherwise in this diary, but I am pretty chill about public space. You can skateboard or yap on your cell phone or sing to yourself and as long as you don't actually SHOVE ME or YANK YOUR ROD it is all good in the hood. But shove me AND give me lip AND you are a punk-ass no-account high school kid in the bargain? Oh, then it's on. I gave him my best stern look and started putting my book away and getting my gloves on, because we were almost at my stop.

One of the Shoving Kid's friends snickered something about his reprimand while I was standing at the back door, ready to disembark, and I heard SK say, "Fuck that. I'm gonna fucking rape that bitch."

Excuse me? Is this a figure of speech? Remember that WTF light? Blinking like crazy right about now. What I Should Have Done: walked right over there and planted my Chuck Taylor hard in his scrotum. I'd get away with it too---see me here all respectable and mom-like with my briefcase and lunch bag? What I Did Do, Inexplicably: yelled "ASSHOLE, YOU COULDN'T RAPE A WAFFLE!" right before I got off the bus. You couldn't rape a waffle. Where did that come from? I am as puzzled as you.

A long quote I know but I felt all the context was needed. "You couldn't rape a waffle?!" Oh the genius. Oh the hilarity.

best intentions

I came in to work early this morning with every intention of getting at least one decent blog entry done but what with time getting eaten up downloading photos etc....

Oooh bugger- people just flooding in and what with one thing or another, it's all hands on deck. Must dash. Don't think I'll be making it to climbing tonight.... Erck.

zzzzzzzz

Well I'm back from Egypt and I promised my Dad I'd blogged today but after going out and foraging for food and restocking the shelves, I find that I'm absolutely shattered and need an afternoon kip before I head out to meet some of the girls for dinner and a movie. So it could well take until tomorrow till I get around to writing about my trip, or anything at all for that matter. The thought of it is a bit intimidating actually because there's so bloody much to write about- I think I'll have to do it in instalments. So for now, to those who I know will be wanting to nag me to fill them in, just wait a day and then I'll have something for you.

Peace out.

xox

kids, don't try this at home

Today, on a whim, I picked up Sport and found an article in it on rap running. Basically, it's abseiling but forwards. I've never been abseiling before, the closest I get is when my climbing buddy Graeme lets me down a bit fast after I've climbed a route. And at this place is Scotland I can do it down a 150ft (about 45 meters if you think as I do, and as all people should, in metric) cliff. AWESOME I seriously didn't think any of my friends would want to do it but two are keen for rap running and one is keen for at least abseiling so it looks like we might be able get a group together. The place which is recommended in the article, Nae Limits (it's a pun- if you say 'no' with a Scottish, sounds like 'nae' ha! a pun in the title, hilarious. I want to support them already.) , provides a range of outdoor activities including zorbing which we've been wanting to do for ages. So now I just have to organise 8 girls- thankfully it will probably end up being less than that- oh joy. Wish me luck...

Oh, and I meant to ad, they had this segment in the article in Sport which I thought was really cute, it follows on from describing how you get down the cliff:

This technique gives you total control over your descent, allowing you to pay out as much rope as you want. Those of a nervous constitution can shut their eyes and pootle inch by inch downwards in a flood of tears. The more free-spirited can run, jump or somersault down while tittering with glee.

I want to titter gleefully!

maire'n'me

Right. Explanation may be needed. And indeed I could just email Marie all about this but since we started blogging about it, we might as well carry on.

I last blogged about the amazing Christian Dior designs that was I was directed to by a link on Autumn Zebra. I mentioned that I disagreed with some of her verdict but, as she pointed out in her latest post, I didn't say how I disagreed which was very unfair of me and quite a tease and mainly due to the fact that I was blogging at home and didn't want my dinner to overcook. So let me break it down- but before I do, I must say that I didn't think she was wrong just that I disagreed. And people may disagree with me and say she's right and maybe I'm just being pedantic about her wording... who knows. At any rate, here goes-

Thing 1- Yes, she did state that it was "...I think it classifies more as a gimmick, or as wearable art, than clothing..." so sorry about that but the word "gimmick" just made me twitch. My bad.

"It is pretty awesome, and crazy, and pretty awesome. The "runway review" that you can also get to from that page is idiotic, for instance, saying the designs are "delicate". Umm, no. No way are they delicate. About as delicate as an elephant I say. They are large, heavy, heavily constructed items in bright colours that try and smack you in the head with a mallet. I think they are too stiff and out-there to be called "delicate"."This is basically what I disagree with.
Thing 2- Some of these designs, in fact most of them are large but I don't think they convey weight and heaviness. I think the word 'delicate' may have been misused by the reviewer but maybe 'intricate' is better. Because they are. Incredibly. And as such a lot of delicacy would be needed in the making of them. I don't think 'delicate' in art and design necessarily has to mean something light and fragile. And so I explain with pictures:

This one is, I think 'light'. The material is flowing and there isn't a lot of it. It doesn't look like it would be terribly heavy to wear although I know all those layers of chiffon etc layered up can get quite heavy. But it flows.


This is, I think, the most real-life-wearable of the lot. I'd wear it. It's fairly minimal and 'light'. In fact this one is one of my favs. I like it A LOT. If I ever get to the stage of making my own dresses, I will try to make something like this.


This one is also fairly realistic I think and also light and flowing.


Maybe a bit much on the front but this too seems fairly normal and business-suity.


Just so it doesn't seem like I've totally biased my selection to prove my point, here is an example of something I do consider heavy and definitely 'art'.


Not something I'd wear and I'm hoping it's just netting and bunching giving this it's shape but this doesn't strike me as heavy either.


This is definitely along the lines of the stiff cardboard construction lines. And I will admit that there are quite a few designs like this where there is a flowing part and then another, usually the jacket or top half, that has large, stiff shapes which probably wouldn't be the easiest to move in.


Out of the grander designs, this one of my fav. It's beautiful and amazing. I'll admit, it'd probably be a bitch to move in and must weigh a ton with all those pleats (? are they pleats? That's what I'm calling them anyway. I mean the ruffly/pleaty/thingies) but this is I think, for me at least, the bit which explains the delicate/intricate thing. I just don't think it's fair to say that this is "as delicate as an elephant" is all...


Finally, I just want to say that I'm not being bitchy and out-to-prove-Marie-wrong. Or even that I think she's wrong as such. There's totally validity in her comments and who knows who's right? Because when it comes down to it, we both think these designs are absolutely awesome.

just fold it

Reading Autumn Zebra today, I came across this supercool link to style.com which is a site that rarely fails to disappoint for eye candy. Because I couldn't brig myself to put these pictures in small, here are my top favs from the Christian Dior collection. Marie makes some interesting comments on them (so do check Autumn Zebra if this kind of thing interests you) but I don't necessarily agree with them all. Still very salient points though. I think I have to look at this collection more as art than fashion though but by golly it's amazing. But then I'm in to my origami so they had me at Japan.















When I saw the grey dress, I was reminded of the exact same flowers I used to make so of course I had to see if I could still remember how to do it because it's been a while. Like ages. I had quite a few false starts and dead ends but I got there in the end.

The Valentin selection is also very cool but more in an hmm-look-what-they're-doing-with-white-and-is-she-wearing-any-underwear-at-all?-If-not-she-must-be-waxed e-everywhere kind of way...

oh, I get it, it was a joke...

Turns out that my friend was totally (well mostly) winding me up about tick-tock-baby stuff. The problem with email is that the finer nuances of a communication are lost. I think I've pinned her down on the no-baby-before-2009 thing though so I'll be able to influence it's poor innocent mind right from the get-go. Mwah hah hah.

But more importantly- I LEAVE FOR THE RED SEA IN ONE WEEK!!!!! Yes indeedy, next Thurs I get to get up at an ungodly hour and drag myself out to Gatwick for a week of fun in the sun learning to dive. And this is where I get to stay. Not too shabby huh? There are four of us going from work and we're all just a smidge excited about it. :-)

reality check

signs from the heavens
I enjoy reading my horoscope. Seeing as I usually only read it in the evening paper on the way home, it amuses me to see, retrospectively, how it might have applied to my day. Yesterday, the gem that awaited me in London Lite was:
Don't mistake the pressure that comes with the sun's move into the crucial midheaven angle of your chart, which accents your activities and your lifestyle, as an indication that decisions need to be made swiftly. Rather, it's time to review these, and be ready to consider in just what way things could be improved.
I beg your pardon? Am I the only one who had to read that several times? Am I then to take it that I should not rush decisions on changing my activities and lifestyle? That's how I'm reading it anyway. Why she couldn't just say "don't rush things kiddo, haste makes waste", I don't know. But then with a name like Shelly von Struncknel, what can you expect? That's right, von Struncknel. I mean I'm 99.9% sure it's a pseudonym but still, that's a humdinger. The other star signs got nothing quite so convoluted, I felt very special.

Pee in a cup
Today I finally registered with a doctor. I really only finally got around to it because if I want insurance for my diving trip, I need to be registered with a doctor here. So far, in my one year and almost nine months in this country, I have only had to go to a doctor once and for that I went to a walk-in clinic. The NHS over here is renowned for being totally shit and there are many horror stories about mis-diagnosed illnesses and generally incompetent care so I decided I'd just rather not get sick. Plus I've been back to NZ twice in that time and seen my doctor both times. Today's trip ended up being rather anti-climactic. I was told that I had to bring my passport with my visa in it and a utility bill as proof of address but when I turned up, they never even looked at them. I just rocked on up, scandalised them with the knowledge that I'd been here for over a year and not registered with a doctor (and they really were. I was given several glares), filled out a couple of forms, peed in a container and that was it. BORING! But at least I'm registered and now travel insurance shall be mine! Oh my life is complete...

Tick Tock
I realise that I am now at an age where it is not totally insane that friends of mine are doing grown-up stuff life getting married and having babies (not that they're all doing them both, or even in that order, just that those two things seem to be happening with increasing regularity at the moment...) When I was home at Christmas, I was talking to one of my closest friends who was discussing plans for the future and she mentioned wanting to do something this year because next year... tick tock... I stared at her in shock and said, "Tick tock?! What the fuck to you mean tick-fucking-tock?!!" But then I realised, it's not so crazy after all, most of us are chasing 30. And then today I get an email in which she again mentions the baby thing but now I'm freaking out for different reasons. I'm already going to miss the birth of one friend's kid but I reallyreallyreally don't want to miss my best friend's pregnancy. Given the way my plans are going at the moment, I won't be back in NZ until the end of 2008 by which time the kid could be 6 months to a year old and that's just not good enough. I mean I can still win its eternal love and be the best and craziest Auntie Aynia ever if I get them that young but I want to be there for it all. (Although given the father-to-be and uncle-to-be, I think I'd have stiff competition.)

But that's the way it goes. I have decided, for whatever reason, that this is where I need to be at the moment, and for the next wee while as well. I don't always like it but I still feel it's the right decision...

this'll learn me...

Firstly- given the massive response of 3 comments that my tulip pics generated, I an instigating a new policy: write a comment and I'll send you an email.*

My friend Sue is hosting a murder mystery evening soon- Death by Chocolate and yesterday we got sent around the character descriptions.

Lauren aka 'Chocolate' Bertrand
You are the greatest legend of the Belgian chocolate industry. Debonair, but tough.
Costume suggestion: Evening suit, elegant and understated.
Kerry aka Marchioness Duchamp
You are an internationally notorious artist, whose work has scandalised two continents, and whose private life has done much the same.
Costume suggestion: Dress in free flowing, slightly exotic clothes in rich colours (purples, deep reds) with silver jewellery and a silk scarf.
Karuna aka Maria Von Schnapps
You are a young business woman who has just taken over as head of a long established Swiss Chocolate firm.
Costume suggestion: A formal evening dress, suggesting quiet sophistication
Di aka Dame Barbara Carthorse
You are the most popular celebrated beauty in England, as well as being a hugely popular romantic novelist.
Costume suggestion: A very grand evening dress, complete with spectacular jewellery and a tiara. Nothing should be understated.
Gunning for glory aka Mike Bison
You are a rising star of American boxing, and you've come to Paris for the Olympic Games.
Costume suggestion: Jeans and a white vest, with a plaid shirt worn open on top. A temporary tattoo or two would be useful, as would a black eye (using make up).
Tania aka Dr. Doris Johnson
You are an amateur archaeologist specialising in Aztec culture, and something of an eccentric.
Costume suggestion: A long velvet coat and a floppy hat with feathers in it. Reading glasses on a chain around your neck would be good - a pince-nez or monacle even better.
Sue aka Dr. Sigmund Fraud
You are a controversial psychologist from Vienna, much distrusted by conventional society.
Costume suggestion: Brown, three piece suit with a bowtie. A beard would add considerably to the image, and a cigar (as a prop) would also help.

Aynia aka Little Fitz
You are a star of the Music Halls of Europe, where your ventriloquist act (with your dummy, Ziggy) has proved very popular.
Costume suggestion: A loud check suit, preferably in brown with a novelty bowtie. It t is vital that you have a dummy with you. This can be anything from a genuine ventriloquists dummy to a glove puppet. Even a sock with suitable adornments (eyes and mouth drawn on ) would do. But you definitely need to bring this prop with you.

WTF?!!?

My initial reaction was to think, "This'll learn me for trying to be the funny man in the group. Other people get to be slinky and sexy but not Aynia, oh no, I get to be someone called Little Fitz and a ventriloquist no less." Apparently Sue read it and thought of me immediately. A ventriloquist. Isn't that just one step away from being a mime? Me being me though, and doing nothing like this by halves, I will now have to spend weekend time I don't have trawling through op shops looking for loud check suits and I get to make a puppet. I'm still deciding whether to dress up a sock or to buy a 2nd-hand soft toy and gut it for my purposes. And of course I have to start practicing talking without moving my mouth, it sounds like my puppet is to have a staring role in the whole thing...

*provided that I have your email address and actually know you. I make no guarantees though.