This is what everybody needs on their computer. A Chuck Norris Widget. Oh yeah, it's so cool it's ice cold baby. This widget lets me happily snigger away to myself throughout the day and occasionally call our IT guy (who sent me the link) to share a gem. We have caller ID on our phones so I don't feel the need to say it's me. I don't even bother with polite preliminaries, I cut straight to the chase, "Some people eat frog legs. Chuck Norris eats lizard legs, hence snakes." Oh the comic genius!

man or woman?
Every morning I walk 25 mins to the overland train station because the walk is good for me and quite nice and actually faster than catching the bus. This means that every morning I see the same crossing guard at the intersection by the roundabout. Living in a big city where everyone ignores everyone and anonymity is the name of the game, I like trying to bring my small town Dunedin feel to things so I make a point of smiling at my crossing guard and saying good morning and on Fridays I wish him a good weekend. The him part has only recently been confirmed though. For all of winter my crossing guard was bundled up like Kenny- I swear to God- except in a fluro high-viz jacket instead of orange so there wasn't much face to see and between the voice being muffled and me having my iPod going, there were very few tells. Some days I cross on the opposite side of the road but when I finally got a close-up view I decided that based on the bushy eyebrows, my crossing guard had to be a man and I am pleased to say that with the warm weather this has now been confirmed.

more crazy people at my gym
The other day on the treadmill, this solidly built guy with tattoos up his arms was running wearing a grey hooded cut-off styled t-shirt- with the hood up. As if this weren't enough, he would occasionally 'shadow-box' at the mirror as he ran. This did not seem like the kind of mo-fo to mess with so I restrained from my range of preferred reactions: (1) laugh out loud (2) snigger, progress to #1 and point (3) make loud comments to anyone who would listen about how all the Rocky movies were GAY (I've never seen one and in fact I want to but seeing people shadow box on the treadmill with their hood up brings out the shit-stirrer in me) and finally (4) hop on the treadmill beside him and every time he did a boxing move, mimic it. Failing that, just run along on the treadmill beside him singing Eye of the Tiger. But I like being alive and unmutilated so I left it. I'm such a pansy.