biting the bullet

So after a week or more of sporadic 'aches'* in my ears and with my dive trip looming (I LEAVE ON THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I finally decided to cowboy up and go to the doctor. I decided that I would ask for ear drops, as a preventative if nothing else and that at least would calm my paranoid internal mutterings. So I get there and the lady at the desk is friendly and the doctor when he calls me in sounds friendly and doesn't look at old and doddery as I'd built him up to be in my memory (I saw him for the one and only time before this just over a year ago) so, thinking I'd blown this whoel thing out of proportion, I sat down and explained the situation. He looked in my ear, said it looked clean, any aches were probably from internal pressure and I should take sudofed to get rid of that and drops were a last resort (the unspoken part was that he wouldn't prescribe them until it got worse). I double checked that any achey stuff would only be from congestion, he said yes, apparently my ear looks good and sent me on my way. No weighing or general questions about my health, no blood pressure, nada. I guess I'm just used to the personal touch of my doctor who has treated me for the past 10 years or more and doesn't have a gazillion patients. So I bought sudofed on the way to work, have popped a pill and it better bloody well work. (I have a moderate degree of faith.)

olé¡

A couple of weekends ago I accompanied a friend to an 'm' party. I went as a Mexican (having all the paraphernalia left over from Kerry's and my Mexican party all that time ago). I've put this picture up because, artistically, I'm fascinated by how much more flattering B&W can be (especially when you boost up the contrast) than colour... I mean seriously, dude, I look so much better in B&W.

alternative humour

I can't remember where exactly I found this image (it was somewhere on my stumbles) but I had to put it in because it makes me laugh. Cute and funny but somehow a little bit sad as well.

*I say 'aches' because I'm in a near hypochondriacal (it may not be a real word but it should be) state so any twitch of anything in my ear becomes an 'ache'.

grumble grumble

Stupid blogger is playing up and won't let me upload pics, without which there is no point in me blogging. Boo hiss I say, booooooooo.

font nazi time

One of the guys at work forwarded me this email the other morning and as soon as I opened the email I started laughing and this is why:



Well you won't be working for any magazine of mine buddy, I can tell you that. What kind of a designer sends an email around asking for work that is formatted in comic sans?! It means one of two things:
1) comic sans is the default font he has set his email to
2) he made an effort and chose to format his text with that font
And in fact option 1 means he made the conscious choice to set satan's font as the default which is an UNFORGIVABLE offense.

no imagination*

My flatmate was very excited the other day because he got Vista for his computer. When I asked him, not very delicately, why the f*ck he had gone and done a thing like that, he said because it was better than XP. I said, "Really?" We all agree his computer is shit. It's slow, it's temperamental, it's a PC. But I am the first person to point out that it's probably not the poor little computer's fault but rather the stupid operating system it has to run. What computer stands a chance?

So Sean had disappeared off to his room to geek it up with his new satanic operating system and I was telling Sarah that it was meant to be 4˚C the next day so we'd need to bundle up and she said, "Oh we know already. Sean has a new toy on his computer which tells him the weather." At this point I lost it, "It's called a widget and they nicked it from Apple because they have no f*cking original ideas of their own!" That sentence reads fairly calmly** but my voice was raised and my arms were waving in the air. One might almost have described me as irate...

*this should be making people think of The Italian Job, the American remake.
**and may in fact have contained quite a few more liberal smatterings of the 'f' word, I get a bit worked up when it comes to the lack of imagination of the staff of Microsoft

sorting it out...

Yesterday I realised that in just over 2 weeks I will be in Dahab on my yoga diving course. This means I will be diving which means I will be underwater which means that I will need my sinuses to be fully functioning and not in their current snot-clogged state. This meant sitting down with myself and giving my body a little talking-to. I explained that it may have been sulking over the past couple of weeks (although God only knows why, I've been very nice to it- I feed it regularly and take it for walks and everything...) and whereas the whole feeling of stuff shifting around in my head when I wake up in the mornings and filling up my sinuses to the stage where I can't breathe and eat at the same time may have been all very haha funny in the beginning, the joke is now over. I'm giving my body one week (and that's pretty indulgent as it is) to shape up and I want to feel those sinuses whistle clean and ready to smoothly equalise by the time I hit the water. I have fish to see and places to swim.

Not to appear totally insensitive, I have promised loads of vitamin C enriched yummy fruity drinks and even some non-perscription medication but if it doesn't shape up, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take it to the doctor and as I explained to myself, neither of us want to do that. He'll probably prescribe 4 different drugs that we don't really need and tempt us with the hope of taking our blood pressure only to let us down. Oh yeah, and that sore throat that's been sleeping on the couch for the past fortnight? He has to go too.

mountains and molehills

I don't tend to get sick that often so when I do, I do it in style- which is just fine. There are however the times that I get common-garden-under-the-weather, like I am now. Combine my general unaccustomedness of B-Grade unwell with my paranoia about the English health system and you have the perfect recipe for Aynia the Hypochondriac. Yesterday, just as I was leaving work, I noticed that my throat was getting sore again and then I got a twinge in my ear and in the 20 mins it took to get me to the supermarket on my way home, I had myself diagnosed with an ear infection and possible tonsillitis. I drank not one, not two, but four hot lemon, honey and ginger drinks last night which is usually a fool-proof way to cut a sore throat off at the pass but not this one, oh no. I woke up at 5am and my throat felt swollen and sore and my body was achey and I started to think of all the other things that could be wrong with me. And then just before I was leaving the house this morning I felt a twinge in my right shoulder which seems like the same place it hurt before when I had tendinitis which I really don't want because that had me out of action for about a month and my climbing's going so well at the moment that I'd be gutted if I couldn't climb.

I'm falling to pieces* (ear infection, tonsillitis and my arm is about to drop off) and worse yet, I may have to the NHS. shudder Call me crazy but I just don't put any faith in my doctor who I've met once and is a little old man who didn't really talk to me at all apart from to read over the form I filled in to register with him. I think he took my blood pressure but that might be my imagination. ..

*remember these are the ramblings of a sleep-deprived hypochondriac. I'm sure if I OD on vitamin C all will come right.

bag love

I have a weakness for handbags, I'll admit it. I came over to the UK with 2 and now have a small suitcase full. I know some won't be making it across the world with me at the end of the year but that doesn't mean the choosing will be easy.

I came across these bags which I have fallen for big time. They've totally inspired me to go searching through op shops for oddball material and to sit down and sew me some creations. I think they're the schizzle.



The picture on the right is the inside of the image on the right. Wow! I would happily have that as a normal bag, let alone the inside. I wonder if it's reversible...





These photos are great. I think taking time to show detail proves that you've taken time to create something and think about the finer points of its design.

just coz I think it's cool

I wish...

that I could draw like this:

I came across this guy's site and his illustrations just blow me away. I'm a sucker for a good sketch at the best of times and will usually choose them over a painting and of course I have a weakness for fantasy subject matter. I'm just amazed that someone has such an awesome imagination that they can think this kind of thing up and 'noodle it out' while in a book store. And jealous. Very jealous.

something for the eyes

Usually gems like this would be saved for a Friday as they're Friday-suitable hilarity but I've decided to post them now and besides, for my southern hemisphere readership, it will be Friday by the time you read this anyway.

Mary Poppins - Ruined By Andy.F

OK GO
From the genius minds that brought you the treadmill video

Enjoy!

London, it's as easy as A, B, C...

My friend Sue has devised (appropriated/adapted) a scheme by which we will do more interesting things and see more interesting stuff in and around London this year- the Alphabet Weekend. On a chosen weekend we will, in order, choose three letters (or maybe 4 if we're ambitious) of the alphabet and do an activity or see a sight that starts with that letter. We started this weekend just past and did Abby Road, Borough Market and China Town.

BOROUGH MARKET
We actually started our outing at Borough Market as it worked smoother transport-wise. I love Borough Market. It's all the cool food. Witness at my look of cheese joy:


And here is me giving some bread what really looks like a glad-eye:

There is only so much of Sue and her camera that two girls can handle.

ABBY ROAD


We only had three of us but we did our best to recreate the walk... I wore by flare jeans especially and do believe I have the best walking action. Even if I do say so myself.

Sue also decided that we need to make the shape of the appropriate letter at each site using our bodies. I think we're gonna take a bit of practice... This was an initial attempt at an 'A'. I swear I thought my leg was higher but it really looks like I'm kicking Rose in the groin*




The 'B' was our first attempt at any letter creation and it took us a while to work out what we wanted to do...

CHINA TOWN
Me and Sue making a 'C' at the Gate to China Town.

At the time, I thought I was trying to make a backwards 'C'. It seems I really have to work on what I think I'm doing with my body and what is happening in reality. Still a funny photo though.




And in closing
Totally unrelated to Alphabet Weekends but vaguely related to London is this Shakespeare Insult Kit that I found on the web. I have too many favourites to name but I particularly like the sound of:
paunchy pox-marked pignut
fawning flap-mouthed flirt-gill
vain common-kissing canker-blossom

Some names I had to look up the definition for because they ended up to be nothing like what I may have guessed:
hugger-mugger
fustilarian A low fellow; a stinkard; a scoundrel
mammet An idol; a puppet; a doll
flirt-gill A woman of light behavior; a gill-flirt.

Bawdy, churlish, paunchy, saucy, surly- all great words to say. I love the way you can roll them around your mouth. Not on his list but equally satisfying are pillock and bollocks.

*I promise no Rose was harmed in the making of these images.

Look Mum, I'm on TV!

Well, kinda. Sadly I have no link to something where ppl can view what I think may be my accumulative 3 seconds of fame but I was on TV.

My friend Sue, got tickets to Dancing on Ice, courtesy of her yoga buddy who does makeup for the show. It was my first live-studio-audience experience and it was really interesting as well as great fun but being an audience is hard work, let me tell you. Stand up, cheer, clap, sit down, stand up cheer, sit down, cheer, cheer CLAP CLAP CLAP tell you can't feel your hands and then make even more noise. Sue and I are going to tape the rerun of the show and fast forward through the skating bits and just watch the audience shots so we can see ourselves. hee hee.

This is a shot of the set before anything started, needless to say, we weren't allowed to take pics at all so even this was a sneaky one.

And, we had a celebrity moment, not that we knew it was one at the time. We were at the bar and Sue was behind me when the guy beside me turned around with his drinks and said to Sue, who must have been standing where his girlfriend had been previously, "Hey Babe, can you just take these back" and Sue said, "Ok." and he double-checked, and went, "OH! Sorry! I totally thought you were someone else! I was about to lean in for a kiss and everything." So we all had a little laugh and later on we ended up standing near him and his friends and all these people kept coming up asking for his autograph and to get photos taken with him and we were like, "OMG! We were talking to a celebrity, he put his arm around Sue, he's famous and we had no idea." Typical. Just so you all know, this was our celeb, he's on Hollyoaks, one of the UK's soap operas.

On another note, you should all read this entry of A Dress A Day. I was actually giggling out loud, I haven't laughed that much at a blog entry in a very long time.

they still all looked like a plate of Hot Mistake with a side of Mental Deficient

Read it.

best laid plans........

So clearly I was too vocal about geeking it up on Fri night because Fate must have heard me and threw a spanner in the works. I had just settled with my Chinese and was about to press play on the DVD when the door opened and Jane's friend, who had been looking after the place before me and was meant to be away that night, came in. Turns out there was a mixup in communications so I finished my Chinese, had a glass of wine and a chat and then trotted off home. Not exactly the Friday night I had planned but oh well...

Friday

Marie's blog is great for random quizzes and are the perfect thing for a Friday. This week's quiz is What File Extension Are You?

When you work with amateurs it can get quite ugly

Hahahahahaha. If they only knew..............

slice of heaven

Tonight I'm back out at Jane's looking after the kitty-cats and, sad though some might think it, I'm really looking forward to my night in. There's a Chinese takeaway I love 10mins down the road from her place and my rental DVD that arrived yesterday is 3:10 to Yuma so I have a pretty near perfect Aynia Night In: crazy cats, Chinese and a western. Heaven!

chocolate chocolate chocolate

I have to congratulate the people at BBC Good Food for their impeccable timing in sending out their e-newsletters. They usually arrive around lunchtime or about 5pm as I'm getting ready to home and it just starts me drooling. This morning I was welcomed by 'Romantic Meals in Minutes'.

If you haven't booked that romantic restaurant or hand-selected your scallops for Valentine's Day it's probably too late. Fear not - you can still make a special meal in minutes with easy-to-get ingredients that won't blow the budget.

Ba humbug to all that but at the bottom of the newsletter was a link to chocolate pudding recipes. Be warned: if you're going to check out that link and you like choccie, strap on a bib and tie yourself down because you will be drooling non-stop and then running to the supermarket to start making everything on the list. A few of my favourites I must share with you though:

Gateaux au chocolat chaud
I think the picture says it all. All that melted gooey choccie inside.... Mmmmm.................

Marbled honeycomb & chocolate mousse pots

I think these just sound and look interesting although I can't quite figure out if it's meant to be a hot or cold desert as it sounds like it'd be more luke-warm than anything else...

Chocolate Soufflé

I love the idea of doing these in mugs, it just seems like a really cute idea. Plus I've never made a soufflé before because they sound temperamental so I think it's time I rose to the challenge.

God only knows where I'm going to find all the people to eat all this stuff. I have already threatened my Mum that when I get to Oz, I won't look for a job, I'll just settle down in their kitchen and bake 24/7. But even with family friends and relatives, I don't think they know enough people to consume all my creative endeavours... And if I give them to my newly acquired diving and climbing buddies it'll look like I'm trying to buy friends. Which would totally be true as I have no qualm about using food as bribery but I don't like it to appear that way... ;-)

humble?

I had to laugh when I read this. Classic.

Receiving a Grammy for a package design is like winning a Nobel Peace Prize for giving up a seat on the subway to an old person.

perspective

A friend of mine wrote this to me in an email the other day and I thought them very wise words:

Terry Pratchett said making a musician go deaf is a joke that backfires on the gods, it doesn't stop him from hearing the music, it only stops him from hearing the distractions. Who knows what loss of reality will do for Pratchett's imagination

divers are a bunch of nutters

Look at me people, look at me, look at me [think Kath and Kim], I've got two words to say to you: extreme ironing. Yeah, you heard me. It is described as

the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I don't iron at the best of times, I'm sure as hell not going to lug an iron, let alone an ironing board around for the sake of a 'humourous' photo.

In fact if I were to be honest, it isn't just divers that are a bunch of nutters. All kinds of people seems to think this extreme iron malarkey is a laugh and a half.

gogogo

This weekend I went go-karting for the first time ever (witness me all homie-g-cool in my fire-retardant overalls). Sexy. It was such awesome fun although I turned out to be quite shit. That or my friends are all speed demon drivers because I was second last going in to the final. I managed to overtake Rosie, thereby bumping me up a placing and I've never been so proud of myself as when I managed to sneak up behind her and swing past inside a hairpin turn. Not that we're a competitive bunch, oh no, not at all...


Sue is back from training around the Asian continent for 3 and a bit months and you can tell because suddenly everything is caught on camera. In this photos I'm delving into Rose's overalls because her top had ridden up so I was pulling it down. But of course it looks snoop-dodgey-dodge. Focus instead on my new haircut. It's short again and I'm loving it, it is just what I asked for. (As it should be really, I took in photos of when I'd last had it looking like that...) I also have another hole in each ear, after thinking about it for a couple of weeks, I decided that I really wanted some more bling in there so now I'm patiently waiting out my 6 weeks so I can put in the teeny weeny studs I have in mind.


I had to put this one up because it cracks me up. The lady shaking her booty with me is Brenda. That girl has more spontaneous dancing energy than me- probably even more than my sister, and together we are a fearsome sight. Needless to say, Sue sees us starting up and hardly knows where to point her camera...


For those who have known me for a while, this should be a familiar sight- Aynia tending to the birthday cake (made by moi, of course). I am also familiarly resplendent in stripy polyprop and this is one of my less eye-assaulting numbers...